The Importance of being single in your 20s
The Importance of Freedom
Wars have been fought, crimes have been committed, great escapes have been enacted, and relationships have ended for one little word. Freedom. Even though it sounds cliché, it’s not a word that doesn’t hold any weight behind it. There’s a reason people for centuries have fought for freedom. Freedom is an essential ingredient for human prospering.
When you’re in your 20s, you need to figure out what freedom means to you and how it truly feels. The key to a great relationship is being better off than you were single. But to do this, you have to first know the freedom of being single.
Whether you were in a relationship in your teens or not, your 20s is a whole new ball game. Being single as a teenager is way different from being single in your 20s. One of the many different factors is freedom. As a teen, you most likely lived with a parent or guardian as well as attending school. In your 20s, you need to experience real freedom.
Finding Your True Self
When you’re 18, you think you know everything. I know I did. I had my entire life figured out. I knew who I was and who I wanted to be. I was engaged and thought I was with the man I’d spend the rest of my life with. But things change. People change, plans change. So when I was 18, I thought I knew everything, and maybe that was true. But just as soon as you know everything, everything changes.
I am a very different person now than I was at 18. Since then, I have changed my college and my major, (most) of my friends have changed, my attitude towards religion changed, my view of my family changed, and you can bet that my plans for the future have changed dramatically.
I no longer want to get married right after college, buy a house and start having children shortly after that, and be an elementary school teacher until I retire. Now I want to stay single as long as possible, rent different apartments in many different cities, be the cool wine aunt until I’m at least 30, and teach high school while pursuing my doctorate, roles in administration, and dabble in writing novels and blogs! Had I not had this time in my 20s to be single, I wouldn’t have had the time to figure all of this out about myself.
When I was in my previous relationship, there were times when I didn’t know where he ended and I began. The concept of self is such an important thing to develop, especially by the time you’re 30(ish) and being single in your 20s is, in my opinion, the best way to develop that.
Learn Your Worth
and What You Need In A Partner
Seeing a woman settle for less because she doesn’t know her true worth is unfortunately all too common, and it breaks my heart. Being single in your 20s is the perfect time to take a step back, and really focus on what you bring to the table. Then, ask yourself “what is something I don’t have, but would be nice to bring to the table?” from there, you can search for a partner with those characteristics, or (my favorite option) learn those things yourself. For example, I love cooking and cleaning. That is one of the many things I bring to the table. What I don’t bring, however, is home/car improvement/maintenance skills. I don’t know how to change the oil in my car or build shelving units in my closet. Now, could I easily look it up and learn myself? Yes. Do I want to? Hell no. Yeah, I can take care of the spider in the bathroom, but I don’t want to. So when I’m looking for a partner, I’m looking for someone who will mow the lawn and take out the trash while I make dinner.
Learn To Survive On Your Own
Now, this is a bit contrary to what I just mentioned. Learning to survive on your own would be to mow the lawn AND take out the trash AND make dinner. There are essential skills that you need to know to survive on your own, such as budgeting finances, grocery shopping, eating healthy enough to avoid getting scurvy, and the likes. These are things you CAN NOT rely on a partner for.
So there you have it! 4 1/2 reasons why being single in your 20s is so important. I hope you can appreciate the freedom in being single, find your true self, learn your worth and what you need in a partner, and know how to survive on your own. Now get out into the world and bloom like the rose you are!
Always,
-Elle
